Monday, March 21, 2011
New Nintendo 3DS Cures Disease and Famine, Ends Violence in Middle East
The hotly anticipated Nintendo 3DS, a hand-held game device that features games in 3D, has solved the world's problems practically overnight, since its release.
Bill Gates, who until now was fighting to find cures to the most common diseases in foreign countries, comments, "I wish Microsoft had come up with the idea first, but I hold no grudges."
Terrorist organizations such as the Taliban were overwhelmed by the 3DS, vowing to end their bloody jihad. A representative for Osama bin Laden released a press statement today saying Osama Bin Laden was "blown away by it." He added, "And this is a quote from Mr. bin Laden, 'dude, who has time for destroying Western God-haters when you can play Kid Icarus in 3D?'"
Humanitarian and hot babe Angelina Jolie is amazed by the platform's ability to rid the world of famine. "Saves me some trips," she commented.
In related news, Apple is working on the iPad II, which they hope will contact intelligent life on other planets...