Our resident know-it-all will now answer your gaming questions...
Q: I'm having trouble playing XBLA games on my console.
A: That's not a question.
Q: I own all three current gaming systems - the XBox 360, the Playstation 3, and the Wii. Can you explain why all have notable exclusive games, but they all require different audio and video connections thereby requiring a switcher and some creative connection swapping, causing the clarity of the video to be affected by my television's HD broadcast capacity, creating a steady stream of pixelation and subsequently marring the video game image?
Q: What does "DOS" mean?
A: It means that you need a new PC.
Q: Is there life after death?
A: I think it's a question of the existence of a deity, metaphysical or otherwise. Existentialists suggest the manifestation of good and evil as a by-product of the fears induced by the question. What is on the other side? How can we differentiate from actual physical being and the dream state created by our subconscious?
Q: How do I download Katy Perry's "Fireworks" for Just Dance 2 on my Wii?
A: Why would you want to?
Q: What is Uplay?
Q: I forgot my password!
A: I don't know it.
Q: Where is my CD Key?
A: Have you looked under your CD Mat?
Q: How do I change a game's language to English?
Q: I am having sound problems.
A: Sounds like you need sound answers.
Q: i lik tedy bers
A: Get off your Daddy's PC.
Q: I am having performance problems.
A: They have clinics for that.
Q: Do you need training to become a FAQ expert?
A: Apparently not.