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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Glenn Beck Becomes Game Reviewer, Will Only Review Titles About Apocalypse

After being informed that his show was being cancelled by Fox News, Glenn Beck announced in a press release this morning that he will start a game review website.  But he has insisted that he will only review game titles which feature "end of the world" scenarios.

"I feel these games offer important tips on how to survive the impending holocaust," he explained.  "When Hitler comes back, the gaming community will be the best informed on what to do.  And of course, the Tea Party..."

Beck, known for his scare tactics to influence his opinions, is excited about the new venture.  "Now I can scare the crap out of a larger audience.  When I think of the possibilities, I wet myself."

Expect upcoming reviews of the following game titles based on the apocalypse...

Fallout 2
Fallout 3
Enslaved: Odyssey To The West
Gears of War
Gears of War 2
Gears of War 3
Resistance: Fall of Man
Resistance 2
S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Chernobyl
Left 4 Dead
Left 4 Dead 2
Bionic Commando
Dead Rising
Dead Rising 2
Crysis 2
Zombie Apocalypse
Metro 2033
F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin
F.E.A.R. 3

...sorry, out of room...


  1. See, now that's right up his alley....

  2. Is anyone wondering, if there's going to be an apocalypse, why is there all this beeswax about the Federal budget? Why bother? Chocolate for everyone.

  3. First, you gotta have the Rapture. THEN you get to have the Apocalypse. Though, there may be a series of little, minor apolocypses leading up to he Big One.

  4. And what exactly is an apolocypse? (My spelling is atrocious.)

  5. I love this one. You know my feelings on Beck