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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Gears of War 3 Beta Offered To Entice Viewing of Royal Wedding

In an effort to get gamers to watch the upcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, all of the major 24 hour news networks are offering a special incentive - the multiplayer beta for the much anticipated Gears of War 3...

"Normally, I wouldn't give a shit," says gamer HaloTilidie, "but suddenly I am very excited about the upcoming Royal marriage!"

CNN and other networks have tried to get people interested in watching their 24 hour coverage of the roughly hour long wedding.  "Sure, it's a royal wedding," a representative of CNN explained. "But more importantly, what will Kate be thinking? What kind of hat will Meredith Vieira be wearing?  Will Justin Bieber perform a song?  And will Princess Diana reach out from The Beyond to lend her presence to the wedding?"

In related news, a Resistance 3 beta will be offered to gamers who keep watching the SyFy Channel...


  1. And will the vast number of press attending the Royal Wedding clump up and form a vast rugby scrum and prevent all the wedding guests from leaving the Abbey for twenty-four hours?