Wednesday, May 25, 2011
"Duke Nukem Forever" Goes Gold - Hell Freezes Over, Angels Weep
Yesterday it was announced that the video game Duke Nukem Forever, in development since 1997, had finally "gone gold", meaning that it will soon be ready for its release in June (of this year).
Not surprisingly, news spread that Hell itself had indeed frozen over. "I was hanging out, you know torturing souls," The Devil explained, "when suddenly it started getting really chilly, then it started snowing! And it dawned on me - yep, Duke Nukem Forever had gone gold..."
God was also experiencing a strange occurrence. "My angels are usually shiny happy people, but yesterday they just started crying uncontrollably! Of course, when they also discovered that they couldn't play the game when it came out, they really started bawling..."
Harold Camping, earth-bound prophet, claimed that Duke Nukem Forever going gold was "just another sign of the impending apocalypse", to which gamers worldwide replied, "Would you just shut up?"....