Monday, October 17, 2011
Activision Promises Next Spider-Man Game Won't Suck
Today Activision announced plans to team with long-time developer Beenox to create, quote, "a Spider-Man game that will not suck". End quote. Their goal is to create a game with more interesting characters, polished controls, and a total lack of nauseatingly repetitive tasks.
"We really have learned our lesson after Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Ultimate Spider-Man, Spider-Man 3, Spider-Man: Web of Shadows, Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions, and Spider-Man: Edge of Time. Really. No, really," said Activision CEO Stanley Excelsior. "We promise to deliver a product worthy of the popular Marvel character, or our name isn't Activision."
Strangely enough, it has been discovered that, in fact, Activision is not the name of the video game publisher. The publisher formerly known as Activision had no comment to the discovery, only to clarify that the recently released Edge of Time is not the game that introduces the new direction. "No, the next one will be great, but yeah, Edge of Time sucks..."