Emergency measures were implemented worldwide when peer pressure caused gamers to join Google+, Facebook, and Twitter at the same time. The catastrophic event caused serious repercussions, effectively crashing the world market, erasing credit card records and generally mucking things up.
"It's a disaster of epic proportions," one official remarked. "It's like all of Roland Emmerichs's films, and just as bad..."
"In my defense," writes one gamer, "my friends said anyone who was anyone should join as many of these networks as possible, because it would be very cool, and also because our parents asked us not to."
A representative of the White House offers this advice to gamers choosing this dangerous path. "Think about what you're doing, and for God's sake don't even think of joining Tumblr too..."
In related news, the GOP is in talks to blame the situation on Obama.
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