Gamers Spammed With Actual "SPAM"

In the most elaborate and cruel malware campaign ever created, actual cans of "SPAM" were sent to gamers worldwide Monday.

"I was checking Twitter, reading my e-mail, "comments gamer MntyPython, "when suddenly I was spammed big time.  But with actual cans of SPAM!  What the hell is this stuff, anyway?"

SPAM marketer Don T. Lookatmee denies that he was involved in the vile campaign.  "But truth be told, I wish I had come up with it first."

Fox News was the first to report on the phenomenon.  Roger Ailes, president of the network, insisted there was a political connection.  "This foul trick reeks of the Liberals and their agenda," he said.  "And it actually reeks!  The smell!  Ewww..."

White House press secretary Jay Carney released a White House response to Mr. Ailes this morning.  "President Obama says, quote, 'Roger, get a life.' End quote."