Samus Defends Her Portrayal in "Metroid: Other M"

In a tearful press release over the weekend, interstellar bounty hunter Samus Aran of the popular series of Metroid games defended her portrayal in the most recent game in the series, Metroid: Other M.

"People don't understand," she explained.  "You just don't understand the pressure I'm under.  Sure, this time I have an unlimited arsenal at my fingertips and can activate it at any time.  But my love for Adam negated my common sense to do things on my own.  That's the kind of power that love has." 

"And I'm not a petulant, immature girl!" Ms. Aran added, jumping up and down and stamping her feet.  "I can be very irritable, but you try to maintain your composure when your body has to painfully roll up into a ball half your size to get into narrow passages!  There's not enough Midol in the universe to help me when it's my time of the month!"