FROM THE NATIONAL NEWS DESK

Dramatic Increase in Mothers' Back Injuries Attributed to Teenagers Stepping on Cracks

DAYTON, OH - A local clinic reported this week that it has been experiencing a significant increase in back injuries.

The victims all have two things in common: they are all mothers, and their teenagers have at one time this year stepped on cracks.

"I thought it was just an old wives' tale", remarked Dr. Mitchell Green, a noted chiropractor.  "But we have chalked up several of these cases to teenagers merely stepping on sidewalk cracks."

Special safeguards have been implemented for the youths to direct them around old pavement, and the City Council has enlisted the help of several local contractors to maintain the sidewalks.

Dr. Green adds, "I think that this era of 'crack-free teenagers' is, if you'll pardon the pun, a step in the right direction."