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Thursday, February 17, 2011

"Alan Wake" Based On Actual Annoying Writer, Confusing Accounts


Microsoft Game Studios has revealed that the story for their successful video game, Alan Wake, was actually taken from the baffling adventures of a real person.

In 2003, an author named Andrew Wayne stayed at a remote cabin near Lake Wachahawa in Hemdale, South Dakota.

A local fisherman, Lou Gusler, recounted the events.  "Well", Lou said, "dunno if anything supernatural happened, but there was this writer guy who just walked around, looking for thermoses and claiming that his wife was missing.  And he had this annoying habit of talking out loud about every damn thing he saw.  He would be walking along, saying something like 'the road was empty, and you could smell the dread in the air,' or 'I looked up and saw that the town was slowly disappearing into the thick of the fog.'  I can't tell you how many startled looks he got from the locals."

Mr. Gusler added that "he was a drinker, as most writers who come here are, and so that probably tells you about his 'adventures'."

When asked about the other writers who stayed in Hemdale, Mr. Gusler replied, "Oh yeah!  We had that King feller, a couple of guys working for James Patterson, L. Ron Howard..."

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