iAbacus Next Big Thing, Says New Apple CEO

After the resignation of former Apple CEO Steve Jobs, it was announced that a new direction would be taken with the multi-billion dollar company.  

Owen Kidsthesedays, the new CEO, has a whole new game plan.  "I don't give a durn what's the big thing now, 'cause I think our next product will be the end all be all of technology.  Our new Apple iAbacus, set to release later this year, goes back to the basics, when you had to use your imagination, instead of all these fancy pictures and some such..."

Kent Getitupanymore is the head developer of the new product.  "We're startin' a new movement, out with the new, in with the old.  Or as we like to put it, 'classic'..."

The roll-out of the iAbacus has taken many critics and tech enthusiasts aback.  "It's Apple, so what they say pretty much goes," one tech blogger commented.  "But I can't imagine how developers are going to come up with any apps for this."

"Apps, schmapps!", retorted the new Apple CEO.  "Back in my days, you had to walk uphill in the blinding snow without anything like a FPS or any fancy game like Fourscore!"