After Numerous Errors, Sources Reveal Congress Still In "Beta"

WASHINGTON - Earlier today it was revealed that the decision making body known as "Congress" has not officially gone live.  "A common misconception," one source reveals, "is that the version available is a complete, bug-free application.  This, however, is not the case.  Many errors in decision-making, and even the lack of decision making can be attributed to Congress's incomplete state.  The recent debt ceiling crisis is just one example of numerous bugs still in the system."

People accessing the "beta" version of Congress are therefore warned that they may experience hostile activity by the "Boehner trojan" and the "Mitch-Anthrax worm", since safeguards have not yet been implemented to detect the malevolent programs.  "Another one to look out for is the Cantor 412, a particularly vicious virus which has no regard for programs that benefit users," adds the source.

In related news, Microsoft Constitution Defender will feature updates to combat the malware applications Perry, Bachmann, and Romney...