Zuckerberg Says New Facebook Phone Just Like Social Network, Which Is Actually Good Thing

This week Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced the development of his new smartphone. Code-named "Buffy", he intends for this product to "slay the competition". But consumers are skeptical, and remark that fans of "Buffy" may lose faith.

"I assure everyone that this new smart phone will be just like my social network, but don't be discouraged, because that will actually be a good thing," Mr. Zuckerberg explained. The comparisons to Facebook will be eerily similar, sources say, in that personal privacy will be a thing of the past.

"Every time you make a call or leave a voicemail, your entire list of Friends will know," one insider divulged. "They can also "like" your conversations and share them with their Friends. Normally, this would be grounds for legal action, but then again, most people don't really value privacy anymore, as evidenced by pretty much everything you see on Facebook."

Fans of Foursquare will also be pleased to know that Facebook is working with the popular social app to create a service by which people will know exactly where users are, what they are eating, who they are sleeping with, and what their security codes are. "Everyone knows everything about you," Mr. Zuckerberg concludes. "You can live the life of a celebrity, without having any substance, which is also much like being a celebrity..."