"Call of Duty Elite" Service Introduces Pointless Crap for Additional Cost

The much anticipated release of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 will coincide with Activision's new subscription service, Call of Duty Elite.

The new service promises lots of pointless online stats and maps usually included in other FPS releases, for a monthly subscription fee.

Dewey Cheatem, CEO of Activision, says that the new subscription service will "solidify the Call of Duty franchise's dominance in video game sales, as well as gamers' hate of Activision."  He then added, "Muhahahahahaha..."

In related news, Microsoft promises additional content will be available for Gears of War 3 if users promise to be nice to them...