Congress Introduces Bill Banning Texting While Driving in Video Games

WASHINGTON - Yesterday Congress introduced a new bill that, if passed, would ban texting while playing driving simulators.  "Year after year, there are more fatalities in video games caused by reckless driving," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid explains.  "This madness must and will stop."  Speaker of the House John Boehner actually sided with his Democratic opponent, saying "this is also very important legislation that will divert us from much more important legislation, and we have to meet the status quo..."

Gamers who play Driver: San Francisco, Shift 2: Unleashed, Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit, and Mario Kart Wii have been targeted by the new bill, requiring them to take responsibility for their actions.  "These youth are prime examples of the apathy toward innocent bystanders who don't actually exist in the real world.  This kind of senseless violence must end."

The requested bill follows shortly after the GOP unsuccessfully supported the unfounded rumor that President Obama was responsible for Rockstar Games Grand Theft Auto series.

When asked her opinion on the new bill, Michele Bachmann replied, "I'm running for president..."