1. First rule of Facebook Timeline - you do not talk about Facebook Timeline. *
2. No matter what you post, other people's lives will still be more interesting.
3. You can revisit all that crap you thought was clever when you posted it last year.
4. No matter what month you look at, the Republican Party will have done something stupid.
5. Mark Zuckerberg is watching you. So be good for goodness sake.
6. You can review the thousands of Farmville requests you ignored.
7. It's just like your real life, but in digital form, but with no actual human contact, which is just like your real life.
8. David Fincher will be directing the movie.
9. Your "Likes" of Justin Bieber, Dancing With The Stars, and Twilight will no longer be hidden from your friends.
10. Your stalkers will feel that much closer to you.
* Actually, other people talk about your Facebook Timeline
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