skip to main |
skip to sidebar
An ex-Rockstar Games employee leaked some interesting new information over the weekend about the upcoming, much anticipated Grand Theft Auto V. According to the as yet unnamed source, the next game in the Grant Theft Auto series will be "family friendly".
"Rockstar wants to appeal to the people who will be spending most of their money this holiday season, and those people are parents," YukonJack8, said in a digitally manipulated post. "This is also the first one that will be available for the Nintendo Wii..."
According to the ex-employee, Grand Theft Auto V will keep its crime theme, but if someone does something criminal in nature, such as boosting a car, robbing a bank, or gunning down civilians, now they will "feel bad" about it. Also, players will be "slapped on the hand" for using "wordy durds". YukonJack8 also indicated that Rockstar is working closely with the parental control software Bed Without Supper.
Rockstar Games declined to respond regarding working with the software, only to say that "these leaks are a demonstration of reprehensible behavior. Unless of course people respond to these ideas positively, in which case we will use them..."
10. My pizza may be number 8, but I'm number 1.
9. If I don't come in 30 minutes, your pizza's free.
8. Like my breadstick?
7. The crust isn't the only thing that's cheese filled.
6. 9 inches. 9 times. 9 very satisfied ladies!
5. Baby, my sausage is lean.
4. You would look good in my marinara sauce.
3. I'm all about free refills!
2. That's not a coupon in my pants!
And the number one Herman Cain Pickup Line...
Table 5, your lovin's ready!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!
Love,
Your Son
(...Glenn)
House votes on resolution reaffirming In God We Trust as official motto of the United States after GOP lobbies for You Can Bank On Us!
Study shows people with short attention spans ...........Hey! Where are you going???
Judge sentences Lindsay Lohan to jail for 30 days, or as Lindsay calls it, "home away from home"...
Viewers complain that new Kardashian wedding DVD is only 72 minutes long...
Conservative Ann Coulter says "our blacks are so much better than their blacks". In related news, bitches nationwide name Coulter their leader.
Justin Bieber spokeswoman denies he fathered a child. "For one thing, his balls haven't dropped yet..."
Today game developer Ruse made a rare confession. "Gamers will be blown away by the trailer and in-game cut scenes of our upcoming title Dragon Seekers," said head developer Kenneth Kenney, "but the actual gameplay? Absolute nonsense. Worst graphics ever."
This news seems to have fallen on deaf ears by gamers who have viewed the teaser. "Awesome!" posted GulaBull. "The preview just rocks! The dragons look life-like, the character models are jaw-dropping! Already pre-ordered it!"
Mr. Kenney acknowledges the enthusiastic response, but wants to clarify that "the trailer and all of the cut scenes were not created by us, but by a digital effects house in L.A.. But we're waiting to tell everyone until after the release of Dragon Seekers. Just think of it as those hamburgers in McDonald's ads. They look great, but the real thing is crap..."
New Rick Perry campaign slogan - "He'll take America to a new high!"
This just in - American Medical Marijuana Association to endorse Rick Perry...
Funyuns and Cheese Doodles to sponsor Perry campaign...
This just in - Rick Perry introduces new 4/20 plan in New Hampshire Speech...
Perry says that he intends to defend "joint cooperation among party members", then added, "oh wow..."
Comments by Rick Perry anger New Hampshire audience. "More importantly, he didn't offer what he was smoking..."
Jessica Simpson confirms pregnancy, claiming "that whole stork thing was true!"
Herman Cain denies sexual harassment accusations, saying "obviously when I said 'two for one' I was referring to my pizza..."
"X Factor" hopeful Stacy Francis condemned for professional background. We are all about transparency, not talent," Simon Cowell says...
Kim Kardashian files for divorce. "In the end, it wasn't good for my ratings..."
Cain accuser comes forward, confirming harassment allegations. "He kept referring to it as his 'breadstick'..."
Personal notes:
I'd like to see a coach flying Coach. That's the only time it would make sense to me.
Just published my first book; if it doesn't work out, there's always priesthood. You know - "publish or parish"...
Posts
